Tuesday 1 March 2016

Feedback from first draft...

It is a good start but definitely needs both refining in some parts, yet expanding on points in others to become a very good essay. It jumps around a little too much in places so I need to find a way to make it move more smoothly. 

Stuff to think about…

  • Expand on the little paragraph about the industrial revolution: some say it enslaved northern cities such as Manchester, Sheffield and Newcastle and its decline possibly improved the lives of those who lived there, as it curbed to uncontrollable growth of mines, mills, factories etc. The decline of the textile industries from the 1950's to 1980's and then the mining industries from the 1980's onwards had the most recent impact on the wellbeing of northern cities.
  • Expand on the paragraph about the minors strikes and Thatcher; (make it not past tense as it reads weirdly) the strikes, closure and privatisation did drive a wedge through the country. Consider how the Northern Powerhouse represents the north today via this. 
  • Martin Parr - find some critical writing about "The Last Resort" and put some context in about Parr himself, e.g. where is he from.
  • Focus on comparing two cities a little more in detail (e.g. Manchester and London?) and talk more about the growing cultural side.
  • Links between multiculturalism and cities; where are the most multicultural cities, how does it relate to class structure.
  • In intro, briefly refer to the issues between the north and south.
  • There is a VERY badly worded sentence in the second paragraph about the first legal boundaries between England and Scotland - sort this out, it makes it look like I've not done any research.
  • Conclusion.

MORE STUFF TO ADD/REFERENCE:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/3615454/Ordinary-lives-extraordinary-photographs.html
Martin Parr: "Most people assume I am cynical and sneering... I'm much more romantic and nostalgic than people give me credit for". 

 “I went up to the North of England from suburban Surrey and was very taken with the sense of community that there still was there. So part of my job with photography was to celebrate that". (Gayford, 2004)

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